21 Years Old

29 September 2011 saya genap berusia 21 tahun. Setelah dipikir-pikir waktu cepat sekali berlalu, saya sudah menikmati dunia ini selama 21 tahun.

Miraculous Playlist: Soundtrack of Your Life

Ketika sebuah lagu bermakna untuk orang lain, mungkin disanalah lagu memiliki nilainya tersendiri. Lagu membawa kedamaian bagi beberapa orang, kadang pula membawa kontroversi, lagi-lagi tergantung bagaimana cara kita menikmati dan menilainya. Sebuah lagu yang indah bukan hanya karena kata-katanya, karena iramanya, karena penulis liriknya, atau karena penyanyinya. Sebuah lagu yang indah dan bermakna tercipta karena adanya segala unsur kecintaan dari beberapa unsur tersebut.

Saya mencintai lagu. Bagi saya setiap lagu memiliki maknanya tersendiri. Bahkan, kadang kala hampir sama dengan makna hidup yang sedang saya jalani. Ketika ada lagu dari penyanyi "A" muncul, lalu meng"iya"kan itu lagu dengan "Duhhhh, itu lagu gue bangetttt", lalu ada lagi penyanyi "B" dengan gaya yang sama "Duhhhh, itu lagu gue bangetttt" dan seterusnya. Lalu apakah setiap sebuah lagu muncul ke permukaan dunia ini dapat selalu dikaitkkan dengan kehidupan yang sedang kita jalani? atau memang itu hanya kebetulan belaka bagi sebagian orang? Atau memang disanalah keajaiban sebuah lagu? mereka (para penulis lagu) merangkai kata-kata dari kejadian kehidupan orang banyak dan menjadikannya dalam sebuah lantunan lagu yang indah, yang mendamaikan hati, atau bahkan yang menyesakkan dada. Kehidupan bagaikan sebuah lagu, yang harus dinikmati dan dimaknai.

Life is a song - sing it. Life is a game - play it. Life is a challenge - meet it. Life is a dream - realize it. Life is a sacrifice - offer it. Life is love - enjoy it.
Sai Baba

Akhir-akhir ini banyak lagu-lagu sendu yang saya dengarkan. Bukan sendu sepertinya, mungkin bisa dikategorikan lagu Jazz dan Classic, bahkan hampir tidak peduli dengan aliran musiknya, yang jelas lagu itu bisa menyenangkan dalam hati dan enak didengar. Adhitia Sofyan menyihir saya selama setahun ini, semua lagunya sangat menentramkan hati saya. Adelaide Sky dan In to You, Love it!!!!

Selain lagu-lagu Adhitia sofyan yang sudah menyihir saya, ternyata lagunya Adele gak kalah hebatnya merasuki pikiran dan hati saya. Albumnya yang berjudul 21 benar-benar sendu sekali. Mungkin kalau kata anak jaman sekarang lagunya Adele itu "Galau" semua liriknya.

Personality : Who am I??

Selama beberapa bulan ini entah kenapa masalah tentang kepribadian menjadi topik terkuat yang selalu muncul dibenak saya. Entah dikatakan hanya sebagai "Kepribadian" atau memang awal untuk mencari jati diri dan memahami diri sendiri. Perdebatan tentang tipe kepribadian kadang pula jadi titik terberat ketika harus berdebat dengan pasangan, saya juga bingung kenapa ini seperti bertentangan. Awalnya sebelum kami memahami sesama, kami setuju untuk mengenali diri kami masing-masing. Hasil analisis tes kepribadian menunjukkan bahwa saya "Dominan Kholeris dan Semi Sanguinis". Hasil tersebut cukup membuat saya kaget, karena bagi saya ada beberapa hal yang masih berseberangan, tapi memang harus diakui beberapa ciri Kholeris itu melekat dalam diri saya. 

Setelah mengetahui hasil tersebut, saya makin penasaran ingin lebih dalam lagi mengeksplor tentang siapa diri saya, salah satunya tes kepribadian yang saya ikuti secara online lewat situs http://www.ipersonic.com/id. Kali ini hasil menunjukkan bahwa saya tergolong manusia dengan tipe kepribadian "Realis Sosialis", berikut deskripsinya:

Tipe Realis Sosial adalah orang-orang populer yang penuh energi. Mereka dapat diandalkan, terorganisir dengan baik, dan senang menolong. Nilai-nilai tradisional penting bagi mereka. Pembentukan keluarga juga memegang peran utama dalam kehidupan mereka. Tipe Realis Sosial memiliki sifat sosial yang menonjol. Mereka selalu siap mendengarkan kegelisahan dan masalah orang lain dan tidak pikir panjang ketika dimintai bantuan. Dengan empati dan pengertian, mereka dapat merasakan apa yang dibutuhkan orang lain. Tipe Realis Sosial selalu bersedia menghargai sifat-sifat baik orang lain dan memaafkan kelemahan orang itu. Mereka yang paling mudah bergaul dari seluruh tipe kepribadian. Kontak sosial sangat penting bagi mereka.

Tipe Realis Sosial sangat sulit menerima konflik dan kritik – keharmonisan adalah ramuan mujarab bagi hidup mereka. Pengakuan dan harga diri sangat penting bagi tipe ini. Di sisi lain, diferensiasi bukan salah satu kekuatan mereka. Dalam pekerjaan dan kemitraan, mereka setia, berkomitmen, dan selalu siap jika dibutuhkan. Mereka mudah berteman karena keterbukaan dan kehangatan mereka, dan mereka memiliki lingkaran besar pertemanan. Dalam asmara, mereka bisa dipercaya, penuh perhatian, dan menyayangi pasangan mereka dengan imajinasi dan kepekaan besar. Tipe Realis Sosial menunjukkan perasaan mereka dengan terbuka dan jujur. Jika hubungan mereka putus, mereka cenderung menyalahkan diri sendiri. Itulah sebabnya mereka sulit mengakhiri hubungan sekalipun hubungan itu sudah tidak berhasil memenuhi kebutuhan mereka.

Tipe Realis Sosial adalah tipe yang lebih konservatif. Mereka memiliki tata nilai dan aturan yang kaku yang berorientasi pada tradisi yang tak lekang oleh waktu. Mereka lebih menyukai lingkungan dan proses kerja yang jelas dan terstruktur; mereka tidak menyukai terlalu banyak perubahan dan gejolak. Kekuatan mereka terletak pada diri mereka yang teliti dan dapat diandalkan dan bukan pada keluwesan dan spontanitas mereka. Tipe Realis Sosial hanya terbuka hingga batas tertentu terhadap hal-hal baru. Namun, jika Anda mencari orang untuk menyelesaikan tugas dengan dapat diandalkan dan tepat, merekalah orangnya.

Realist can be romantic
Pic by Jeff the Trojan

Berdasarkan deskripsi tersebut, hasilnya memang cukup valid. Saya seorang "Realis Sosialis", cukup nyaman dengan deskripsi tersebut. Bagaimana dengan kalian??? 

Kadang kita perlu introspeksi diri dengan menganalisis hal-hal yang kita lakukan, diskusi dengan pasangan, teman atau siapapun untuk membangun karakter dan kepribadian yang lebih baik lagi. Jadikan hidup ini lebih bermakna dengan memahami siapa diri kita :)

40 Tips for a Happier Life

Writer : Felicitas Heyne
Repost: http://www.ipersonic.com/blog_files/40-Tips-for-a-Happier-Life.html  

Since the end of the 90s a new branch of the science, also known as Positive Psychology has been dealing with the essentials for happiness. In order to help you find out which happiness potentials are maybe lying idle with you, I have summarized the 40 most important insights on the subject “happiness” in an abbreviated format in the following “checklist”.

1. Get to know yourself really well!
   Whoever knows more about him/herself, will better be able to tap into his/her potential, advance his/her development and learn to better deal with critical issues. (Our personality test is a great starting point for that)
2. Do what you love!
   Professional and private activities conveying the feeling of absolute fulfillment create “flow” in us – and that makes us happy. It is the result of the brain’s optimal utilization. (See also my article "Do what you enjoy doing!")
3. Invest in your Partnership!
   People living in long-lasting, good partner relationships are evidentially happier than singles. In multiple studies this factor has repeatedly been proven to be the most effective for increasing life-satisfaction – it is much more important than money, job and hobbies.
4. See your Profession as a Calling!
   Whoever sees him/herself as important contributor in his/her work, experiences his/her occupation as meaningful and feels that his/her special skills are needed is happier than those who are just ”doing their job”. (See also my article "How to find a job that makes you happy")
5. Cultivate Friendships!
   Positive social contacts reduce stress and promote health. Studies also clearly indicate them to be life prolonging.
6. Don’t chase after Money!
   Studies frequently demonstrate that the impact of a higher income on happiness or even that of winning the jackpot turn out to be minimal in the long term.
7. Make Peace with your Past!
   An essential condition for satisfaction and happiness is to make peace with one’s own history and past and accept it the way it is.
8. Don’t compare yourself with others!
   Comparisons with others who are (perceived) to be doing better in some way or other is a perfect method to make yourself miserable because they reduce your own satisfaction.
9. Savor Times of Happiness to the fullest!
   The longer and more intensely one enjoys the times of happiness and the resulting high, the more this memory becomes a part of the consciousness and positively impacts the overall life-satisfaction.
10. Set yourself realistic Milestones!
    Intermediate goals are easier to reach and therefore cumulatively provide more frequent feelings of happiness than one long term and excessively ambitious goal: Each individual sense of achievement activates the brain’s reward system and creates happiness.
11. Clear out and sort!
    Divesting oneself of the old, useless and unwanted provides all sorts of energy, momentum and creates room for new and exciting things in life.
12. Frequently tackle new Things!
    New surprising experiences activate the brain’s pleasure system, curiosity and the willingness to deal with the unknown are important elements of happiness.
13. Quickly take care of Things that must be done!
    Although procrastination may sometimes be temporarily the easy way out, in the long term it creates unhappiness: Much more conducive to happiness: The sense of achievement when a task (especially if it was unpleasant) has been accomplished. (See also my article "How to fight procrastination")
14. Work on your Character!
    According to Positive Psychology the following six virtues are the key to happiness: wisdom and knowledge, courage, humanity, justice, temperance and transcendence.
15. In Times of Crisis look for professional Support!
    Banal but important: It is a lot easier to handle depressions, traumatic experiences or other serious psychological problems inhibiting one’s happiness with someone’s support.
16. Look for Outdoor Leisure!
    Engagement with nature and plants steadies, relaxes and imparts the feeling of success.
17. Enjoy consciously and intensely!
    Savoring consciously stimulates all senses, creates happiness and can even prevent depressions and ease pain. This is possible through the release of opioids produced naturally in the body.
18. Develop your Spirituality!
    Human beings are creatures searching for meaning and a spiritual footing. Regardless whether one is drawn to the traditional religions or as a free spirit creates one’s own superstructure: Any form of faith has been proven to benefit personal happiness.
19. Look for contact with animals!
    Pets provide variety, affection and fun in our daily routine – they make us happy and are frequently important participants in psychotherapy.
20. Help others!
    Helping others also makes us happier and more content. Volunteering can even positively impact life expectancy!
21. Learn to value the unexpected!
    Variety prevents inurement and insensibility vis à vis known fields and allows for new and enjoyable experiences that one would miss otherwise.
22. Exercise regularly!
    Exercise is a very important source of happiness. Studies have shown that for many people regular endurance training three times a week for half an hour helps as effectively against melancholy as medication.
23. Avoid any kind of drugs!
    Regular drug use can reduce the amount of D2-receptors in the brain, docking stations for the neurotransmitter Dopamine. The smaller their amount, the more difficult it becomes to feel happiness.
24. Smile and laugh at every opportunity!
    Smiling has so many positive effects on body and soul that many therapies now specifically treat illnesses and depressions with gratuitous laughter training.
25. Be grateful!
    To be constantly aware for how much one can be grateful in one’s life notably and drastically increases personal satisfaction. A great method to focus on the positive aspects of your daily life is the happiness diary. (See also my article "Gratitude is a key to happiness")
26. Be parsimonious with periods of Idleness!
    It is only in the short term, that idleness makes happy, but then very quickly causes dissatisfaction and even illness. Consequently, any activity is better than protracted inactivity.
27. Seek Tenderness and physical Contact!
    Affectionate contact assuages fear, relieves stress and relieves opiates increasing our happiness and satisfaction.
28. Welcome Problems in your life!
    The feeling to have faced and successfully mastered a difficult situation is a central happiness module. (See also my article "How problems can make you feel happy")
29. Focus on the Positive!
    Those who concentrate on the beautiful things in life are happier than those who only ponder on the negative.
30. Cultivate your Sex Life!
    Sex is one of the most effective and healthiest means to pleasant feelings providing a sheer surge of happiness hormones in the body.
31. Be open to anything new!
    Maintain a large network of contacts, invariably face things with interest and generally walk through life in a relaxed way. In doing so, you‘ll make it easier for unexpected opportunities to pop up.
32. Practice your Intuition – and trust it!
    Those favored by luck are usually people with an excellent intuition and a sure gut feeling. (See also my article "Intuition - Knowledge on a Gut-Level")
33. Be optimistic!
    Those who expect the positive, also tend to be recipients of the positive. On the other hand, those who see themselves as unlucky fellows, block their feeling to be happy. Both convictions act as self-fulfilling prophecies.
34. Occasionally say „no“!
    Those who always put their wishes, needs and requirements last for the sake of peace are going to be dissatisfied and unhappy in the long term.
35. Watch your Posture!
    The psyche continuously receives feedback from the body about its activities and status sensitivities as for instance via muscle-movements and tension. It has been proven to lift the mood when the posture expresses optimism, happiness and confidence.
36. Give your life meaning!
    Whoever wants to be happy and satisfied in the long term, must see to it that his/her life is a meaningful one. (See also my article "Give your life a meaning")
37. Drink tea, not Coffee!
    Four cups of tea each day help the body to reduce stress – and the tea preparation ritual relaxes and makes you happy.
38. Make Decisions!
    “It is better to execute imperfect decisions than to continuously search for perfect decisions that are never going to exist.” (Charles de Gaulle)
39. Learn to control your negative Feelings!
    Delving into anger, grief or other negative emotions repeatedly and excessively does not have a relaxing effect but reinforces these feelings and increases the chance of their repetition.
40. Meditate!
    Meditation activates and exercises the left frontal lobe – the more prominent it becomes the better we are able to deal with negative experiences and the happier we feel. 

Into the black

Tak terpikirkan dengan keadaan seperti ini
Aku bertalian dengan sesuatu
Melekat sedalam apa yang tak pernah kupikirkan sebelumnya
Merengkuhnya sulit
Meraihnya sangat rumit
Menjalaninya pun seperti berbelit-belit
Tidakkah menyadari bahwa yang kurengkuh sudah indah
Haruskah aku meminta yang lebih dari yang kudapat
Menjaga apa yang tertanam dalam hati dengan rasa syukur yang dalam
Pengecualian ini
Kesempatan ini
Kedatangan dan kepergian
Mengapa harus bersamaan
Pintu hati ini hanya bermuatan satu
Satu untuknya, bukan dengannya
Ada jika hanya bercanda
Ada jika hanya tertawa
Pergi untuk kembali
Kembali dan akan kunanti